Exclusive Offers for You in 2016

OFFERS FOR 2019: Happy Holy Days
http://tinyurl.com/cdvvejp Confessions - My Sordid (SEX) Life EXPOSED! - Ashley Lenartson
http://tinyurl.com/d4msmg8 The Filthy Funny Dirty Joke Book (Rude Crude & Socially
https://zazzle.com/trailerparktrashwear for Classy & Trashy People...are you one or the other or both?  I know I can be one or the other or both...that's just the way I turned out to be...images of my art printed on everything you can imagine:  t-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, ties, bibs, cell phone covers, key chains, etc. etc.
https://musicsubmit.com/ashleylenartsonband 4 of the 1st 4 Pop Songs I had recorded Professionally...IF you DOWNLOAD any of the Pop Songs send me a donation to show that you actually care about Downloading the stuff for FREE from my site...or, you can purchase the Pop Songs from this site:
https://reverbnation.com/ashleylenartsonmusic  All 7 of my Pop Songs recorded and up for sale on this site...I don't make much money off the Pop Songs so that's just the way life works out for me...

MaverickAshley Lenartson
Massage Therapy/Metaphysical Healing/Consultant
198 Sherwood St 3 Portland ME
207 809-9461 or 207 450-3140 to set up a Healing Appointment
$40.00/half hour, $80.00/hour, $90.00/hour & a half, so on, so forth...
(Off Washington Avenue near Veranda/Presumpscot St/Parallel to Washington Avenue just after the light from the overpass on Washington Avenue or Ananias or coming in from Rte 1 take a right onto Sherwood St or from Presumpscot St take a left onto Sherwood St and I'm right on the right after the clearing of pine trees or coming from Rte 302 Washington Ave from Ocean Avenue then go to next stoplight and take a left at Presumpscot St across from Ananias Sub Shop)

https://soundcloud.com/maverick-ashley-lenartson/missrandellajeanthebeautyqueen

JOKES

While I was busy growing up all over the world my step-fathers tour of duty in Germany came to an end and my whole family was flown back to the Newark New Jersey Airport.  I had to settle for the fact that things were going to be different now, much different.  One day when I was in grammar school in the 7th Grade, our 7th Grade Teacher Maurice Pelletier asked the class one day what a Black Hole was and the whole class pointed at me.  Then he turned to me and asked me where the Grand Canyon was located and I pointed to Paula Martin and the whole class erupted in laughter.  It was then that I knew I'd become a Professional Stand Up Comedian and tell jokes for a living...a good friend of mine, Sarah Rowell, asked me to take her on a whale watch and I told her to give me $30.00.  She asked me what would be the best time to go on a whale watch so I said, "Let’s go right now during the middle of the day."  I packed her in my car and off we went.  When I got to Congress Street I said to her, "Do you see any whales walking down the street???"  She said, "That's not a whale watch."  I said, "Yes, it is."  She protested.  I told her to get out of my boat as I was driving down Congress Street and made her walk home.  As far as I’m concerned we were on a whale watch.  Why pay $30.00 to go out on a boat that mite conk out for no particular reason or god forbid, one of the whales decides it doesn't like humans and decides to capsize the boat full of whales trying to get a good picture of them??? Shouldn't it be the other way around???  My aim as a Professional Comedian is to be Politically Incorrect.  That’s what comedians do.  I love making people laugh...This is a great book to have close by in any room of the house as it will be Guaranteed Laughs and you will end up w/ a smile on your face when you feel you are at the lowest point in your life and that you simply can’t go on...Go Now.  Read the book and laugh your butt off then make that purchase.  The book won't break the bank and you will thank me later.  Sincerely, Professor Potty Mouth Syndrome UnLtd.